A lot of things are going through my head right now...

A lot of things are going through my head right now- both the past and the future. I haven’t really fully accepted the fact that I am no longer a student. Last March 22, 2013 I finally graduated from college (YEY!) attaining a bachelor’s degree in Advertising and…also graduated with distinction and awarded with “Best Thesis”.

So here I am right now, unable to move forward (I know I will. I know I should. But it should take some time to sink in).

Don’t get me wrong! I am happy that I graduated college. I am happy that at least I could lessen the burden of my parents- financial burden that is. I am excited of the fact that at this moment, I am given the gift of freedom, free to lead my own life, free to make my own choices and free to make my dreams a reality.

Maybe it is just I, having cold feet again. It is my fears again eating me alive (Urg!). Maybe, I am just paranoid that I might not live up to my parent’s expectations, or even mine. I have a sad case of being too much of a perfectionist. I oftentimes end up overanalyzing things and it just leaves me paralyze. I hate that feeling!

Soon, it will be job hunting for me. It is time to face reality! Though, I am starting to question myself ( Can’t help it). Am I really ready? Do I have what it takes to succeed in life? I’d like to think, YES. Sure, there may be trouble but hey, I survive college didn’t I?

Honestly, I am proud of myself. Not to be boastful or anything of that kind. It’s just that, I was not really like this. Way back in high school, I was just an average student with average dreams. I was a complete mediocre. The shy type and the physically awkward girl (I was ridiculously thin back then! Still is! But yeah…you get my point!). I was contented with blending in with the crowd. No attention. No expectations. That’s me.

So to graduate college with distinction and to be awarded best thesis, gave me my major awakening (My AHA moment). In reality, anything was possible as long as I put my heart and mind to it. And I’m not going lie, it was actually a relief to prove to those people who did not have faith in me that they are wrong. I wanted to prove that, being a champion in life is a CHOICE. And that was just something that I never really understand back then. But I am over with regrets! It’s time to be Happy!